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scuber steve interview by nork
scubanator12: ey lets do an interview
scubanator12: im bored yo
I EAT CHILDREN22: aight
I EAT CHILDREN22: it starts....
I EAT CHILDREN22: now!
I EAT CHILDREN22: is it true that your real name is "scuba fred" but you just wont admit it?
scubanator12: nah foo! scuba steve fo life
I EAT CHILDREN22: do you "got mo' syrup den a waffle house?"
scubanator12: more beans than a bean burrito foo
I EAT CHILDREN22: are you ridin' southweest wit yo windows b-b-b-bulletproof?
scubanator12: yeah ridin on twentay fo'z
I EAT CHILDREN22: hot shit
I EAT CHILDREN22: do you cap ho's when they dont give it to you hot 'n fresh?
scubanator12: shhhhh they up in mah basement
I EAT CHILDREN22: are you like "bitch! i said whopper wit extra cheese, sukka!"
I EAT CHILDREN22: and they like "sorry big daddy! i'll never do it again!"
scubanator12: yeah! i push em around like nobodys bisnuess!
I EAT CHILDREN22: damn straight
I EAT CHILDREN22: once, my dad was driving home
I EAT CHILDREN22: and he stopped at the corner to trun
I EAT CHILDREN22: and a car full of mexicans slammed into the back of him
I EAT CHILDREN22: nd they didnt have insurance
I EAT CHILDREN22: and he was like "damn nigga! whats up wit dat?!"
scubanator12: shit i woulda grabbed mah glock and shot those bitches
I EAT CHILDREN22: werd werd
I EAT CHILDREN22: hes exactly 39 years and 362 days older than me
I EAT CHILDREN22: does your dad touch you?
I EAT CHILDREN22: in inappropriate ways?
scubanator12: hell nah
scubanator12: i'll shoot him
I EAT CHILDREN22: does he like to fondle your balls
scubanator12: i do that myself
I EAT CHILDREN22: does he watch you in shower while you are jackin off, and then he starts jackin it?
scubanator12: nah
I EAT CHILDREN22: does he film you and your friends mud wrestling, then go to is room for hours on end?
scubanator12: uh nah
I EAT CHILDREN22: does he like it when you whip your dick out in public?
scubanator12: uh i dojn't whip my dick out in public and nah he wouldn't enjoy it
I EAT CHILDREN22: does he like to teach you new ways to clean yourself?
scubanator12: nah
I EAT CHILDREN22: does he come in your room at night an put his dick in your mouth?
scubanator12: nope
I EAT CHILDREN22: well you are no fun at all
I EAT CHILDREN22: this interview is over!
corey duffel interview by andrew
andrew barnes: how long have you been skating?
corey duffel: probally almost eight years
andrew barnes: how much pussy do you get usally?
corey duffel: i wsh it came, but girls would be a waste a time. but if your chick cum give it to me! let the boning sessions begin.
andrew barnes: do you like hamburgers?
corey duffel: of course nothing better than some dead animals in my mouth.
andrew barnes: why is it you love me soo much? im just a skidmark!
corey duffel:skidmarks are homies with all other hessians. were a happy family!
thanks for the interview man. shred hard
anytime you crazy moofackie!
-andrew-
interview with todd allen, world wide flash master
nick: this interview is only 2 questions. question 1: is this the shortest interview you've ever done?
todd: yes
nick would you mind repeating your answer?
todd: yes
nick: thank you for your time
interview with jim, by nick
big goon gumpos: interview?
iempiemp: let's do it bud
big goon gumpos: ok
big goon gumpos: um...
big goon gumpos: ** *** ****** **** **** ****?
iempiemp: we are not including that question!
big goon gumpos: ok
iempiemp: shhhhhh it is a secret and you know the answer
iempiemp: anyway
iempiemp: the interview starts....
iempiemp: now!
big goon gumpos: ** **** **** **** "***** ***-*** *****", *** ***** *** *** **** **** **?
iempiemp: *weeps*
big goon gumpos: sorry
big goon gumpos: so what state do you live in, jimmy?
iempiemp: pennysylvania, near philadelphia
big goon gumpos: no shit?
iempiemp: none!
iempiemp: 20 minute bus ride to love park, or what used to be love park.
big goon gumpos: excellent. now we have an east coast rep
big goon gumpos: what happened to love?
big goon gumpos: why do you say "what used to be love park"?
iempiemp: oh well the city is a bunch of fuckers so they decided to get rid of the tile and plant grass everywhere
iempiemp: it's gone to hell now
big goon gumpos: oh no!
iempiemp: they wanted to make it prettier
iempiemp: so they ruined our skate mecca place
big goon gumpos: i live near love park too ya know
iempiemp: oooooooo where?
iempiemp: then why'd ye say "what happened"?
big goon gumpos: its a different one
big goon gumpos: in houston
iempiemp: ahhhh
iempiemp: fake love park
iempiemp: jeez we have a washington rep, texas and philly.
big goon gumpos: it has a pool and a playground and a parking block
iempiemp: we're set
iempiemp: a gnarly parking block or a normal one
big goon gumpos: yes. yes we are...
iempiemp: gnarly = 5 inches, normal = 4
big goon gumpos: g-nar to the eighth
iempiemp: the gnarly ones are so scary, the normal ones are fine.
iempiemp: that extra inch makes me want to die
iempiemp: so i do
iempiemp: then i resurrect
iempiemp: but only after a few seconds
big goon gumpos: i remember i used to think i was good cuz i could kickflip over it
big goon gumpos: so anyway
iempiemp: so let me ask you what hamburger clothes is all about
big goon gumpos: i started it because i wanted a company that was for the people. people can submit their designs and we put it on a shirt for them.
iempiemp: for the homies, by the homies?
big goon gumpos: ya. just like chomp.
iempiemp: have you ever been to www.goatse.cx ?
big goon gumpos: oh ya
big goon gumpos: it gets me off
iempiemp: i visit it hourly
big goon gumpos: eee my washing machine is going crazy
iempiemp: hey what's your advice for 5 year olds?
big goon gumpos: its shaking like a banshee
big goon gumpos: 5 year olds?
iempiemp: yeah
big goon gumpos: i have candy in my basement
iempiemp: what would you tell a five year old
iempiemp: oh god
big goon gumpos: just kidding
big goon gumpos: i would say "wanna learn a new way to wash yourself?"
iempiemp: you are going straight to hell
iempiemp: wanna know what i would say?
big goon gumpos: what
iempiemp: fuck shit up and GET SNARLY you little five year old
big goon gumpos: "el oh el"
iempiemp: ROFL LMAO ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL ROFL *dies from too much rofl*
iempiemp: eepers now i am dead
big goon gumpos: what would you say to an old lady
big goon gumpos: you dead cockass
iempiemp: an old lady?
big goon gumpos: ya
iempiemp: i'd say "old ladies are really cool.....sometimes." and that'd be my advice, stay cool old lady
big goon gumpos: you know what id say
iempiemp: what?
big goon gumpos: i have candy in my basement
iempiemp: what kind?
iempiemp: i like candy.
big goon gumpos: whatever you want *licks lips*
iempiemp: *ejaculates*
iempiemp: thanks
big goon gumpos: *makes that noise hannible lecter makes*
big goon gumpos: Enter or update the text in the text box at the top of this screen. Then click a "Done" button.
iempiemp: die!
big goon gumpos: *dies*
iempiemp: good
iempiemp: i'm GLAD
iempiemp: did you know that?
iempiemp: i'm glad.
big goon gumpos: im glad your happy
big goon gumpos: ( Y )
big goon gumpos: ^butt
iempiemp: i can tell
iempiemp: DON'T PATRONIZE ME
iempiemp: death!
big goon gumpos: or maybe its boobies without nipples....
big goon gumpos: that would be funny
iempiemp: i would cry
big goon gumpos: why? because they eat animals?
big goon gumpos: guess what jim....
iempiemp: what's that
big goon gumpos: your on candid camera!
iempiemp: i dont' even know your name *shame on me* i forgot to ask i was scared
iempiemp: oh no!
big goon gumpos: my name is nick
iempiemp: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
big goon gumpos: it rhymes with many things
iempiemp: hours of fun!
big goon gumpos: do you like corey duffle?
iempiemp: alot
big goon gumpos: rad
big goon gumpos: im gonna get zerofiend to interview him
iempiemp: you couild too if you wanted right?
big goon gumpos: ya
big goon gumpos: but zerofiend knows him personally
iempiemp: eeee
big goon gumpos: i bet no ones gonna read this interview
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